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Category Archives: Inspiration

Day 4: Pay it Forward

05 Wednesday Dec 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Writing Topics

≈ Leave a comment

In 2000 the hit movie Pay it Forward came out about a young boy who wanted to make the world a better place after his teacher gives him that chance.

Ever since, the term and sentiment caught on and we use it in our daily lives – be it in our personal life or business world.

Every city, community, household, corporate environment or ecosystem has its own unique characteristics.  In Silicon Valley many people, both inexperienced entrepreneurs to the most highly influential leaders, will say we live by a “Pay it Forward” model.  And the reason they time out of their day to meet with you, share their experiences or provide a meaningful introduction, is because someone did it for them.   And it is one of the things I love the most about the Valley.

My Day 4 writing topic is around the the features and flaws that you experience in your world. It is an invitation to think about one positive characteristic and write how you can either enhance it if you have it exists already, or adopt it if it’s missing.  Perhaps it’s the Pay it Forward mentality, a random act of kindness or something else. Think about what would bring you to joy to give, and receive in return.

The best way to make change is to be the change. And change always starts with a small act that grows.

IMG_0016

 

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. 

– Margaret Mead

Day 3: Invest in Love

03 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in friendship, Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love, Writing Topics

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Elon Musk said it best.  All we need is love.

Ha! He might have gotten it from the Beatles but I figure if Elon Musk knows it to be true, then it must be. ❤️

Today’s writing topic is about love. But more so, how we can invest in love.

IMG_5204

Hand painted with love by my amazing Sister.

If we approach the day, and the people in it, with love, then we have a 1000% better shot at feeling good about ourselves, making others feel welcome and appreciated, and are in charge of creating more positivity and change for good in the world.

All because we simply invest in love ❤️.

  1. So take a moment to write about everyone that loves you, or have ever loved you. And as you do – enjoy the feelings and emotions that become present in your body.
  2. And then, write about the people that you love, or have loved. What did you learn from those that you loved before?  What are those that you love today teaching you? What are you teaching them?
  3. And lastly, think about who else you can love.  How you can give love to strangers? To your neighbors? Someone from your past? Someone that you will meet today? Make it a game and have fun with it!

Love is an investment. Not of money but something way more precious – our heart — our soul — and our time.

Some would tell you to be careful with how you give love away. I say the opposite. Give it away with reckless abandon. The world could use more love.

with love, 

 

love hands

Day 2: Friendships

03 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in friendship, Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Writing Topics

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Today’s writing topic is around friendships and those relationships that are meaningful to you and why.

But it’s also about what type of friend you are being, or want to be.

friendship

It’s true the people come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And often there isn’t much we can do regarding the outcome. But we can always be conscious of those we have in our lives and how we are showing up for them.

Some questions to consider as you take a moment to reflect and write:

  1. What kind of friend are you to those most precious relationships in your life?
  2. Is there someone that you would like to have a deeper friendship with, and if so, what is one thing you can do to make that happen?
  3. What qualities resonate with you in friendships that you admire, and what can you do to emulate those traits?

Lastly, and you can consider this happy homework.  Reach out to a friend and tell them how much they mean to you. It can be a text or better yet a phone call. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated.  Just a simple random act of friendship.

freindship - to be understood

Relentless Serendipity

01 Monday Oct 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Business, Inspiration, Life's Lessons

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Tags

goals, life, purpose, relationships, serendipity, technology, truth

 

A few weeks ago I named a 200 year old tree.

That day I was fortune enough to experience and learn about a project that brings purpose, sustainability and passion together at a remarkable property — Walden Monterey.

Walden Monterey is a 600 acre development being billed as a luxury “agrihood”— a housing collective focused on sustainability and communal farming—on the Monterey Peninsula. The developer, Nick Jekogian, is creating a purpose and reason to disconnect from our world so we can reconnect with ourselves. And it comes at a time when many of us are struggling with the good and evil of technology and the rate at which it’s changing.

Never before have we experienced such exponential growth of technologies and the capabilities that it is affording us, than today.  It’s exciting and inspiring and provides us with opportunities literally beyond what we could have imagined.

I heard a quote the other day — “Never before has technology moved so fast, and never again it will move so slow”.

And never before have we had such addiction to a device that literally disconnects us from things of true meaning and purpose.

So we’re at a very interesting time in business and in humanity.

If we, ourselves, don’t slow down, then I think we’re all going to miss the point.

I’ve been listening to the book Tribe by Sebastian Yueng. It talks about the sense of community and belonging and how certain groups — tribes — gain all that they need by relying on each other and collectively working together for a common goal.

The day after I visited Walden Monterey, I went to my first Jewish service. There was so much singing and so little sermon — you could just feel the sense of community from the congregation.

I didn’t “belong” there because I am not Jewish and I was only there to support a friend, but yet I felt connected at a level that I would have never expected.  And it made me long for my own community and the tribes that I have been fortunate enough to form, or be invited into.

I am one of the worst offenders when it comes to unplugging. I work pretty much all of the time and I justify it with the rational that I love what I do. Because I do — love what I do.

But these two events provided me with a new commitment and conversation with myself:

How do I unplug and disconnect from the world, so that I can connect with myself and build a more sustainable life for me and those that I love.

Because the more sustainable and profitable life that I can build for myself, the more that I can give back to this world.

I started the year off with a goal of getting away one weekend per month to read, write and relax. I called it my “Writing Weekend”.  And I would give myself a C minus on my effort.  I’ve technically went away for four of the nine months so far. So that’s good. It’s not enough, but it’s not zero. But if I’m being honest, I didn’t actually disconnect — not for the entire time and not how I had intended (or needed to).

So my visit to Walden Monterey re-reminded me that I set my intention at the beginning of the year for a reason and a purpose. And I didn’t try hard enough to really be successful.  And because of that, I find myself at the same crossroads as I did nine months ago.  And I don’t have nine months to let pass by without making a significant change in an area that I myself, deemed as a priority.

And that leads me to the tree. Relentless Serendipity. 

 

relentless-serendipity-tree-walden-monterey-august-2018jpg.jpeg

 

If there is one word that I love and try to embody, it’s the word relentless. An old friend who runs 100-mile + ultra marathons has a tattoo on her forearm “RFM” — Relentless Forward Motion. As an ultra runner myself, it always resonated with me because in running, as in life, sometimes it’s simply about one foot in front of the other without stopping. That is RFM.

And if there is one word that I believe has the power to shape our future, it’s serendipity.

It was serendipity that my friend, Linda, invited me to an event at 1440 Multiversity because I told her about my Writing Weekends.

And it was serendipity that I met Nick at 1440 and got to not only share a glass of wine around a fire pit, but also an intimate fear as part of our writing class.

And for Nick to extend an invitation to me to visit Walden Monterey – and for me to be able to name one of its 200 year old trees on the property — I call that Serendipity. And I’m b.yond grateful for the experience.

I look forward to my renewed commitment to self and I hope this will inspire others to disconnect with the world and find a peaceful spot in nature to reconnect with what matters most — you.

re·lent·less
rəˈlen(t)ləs/
adjective
adjective: relentless
  1. oppressively constant; incessant.

 

ser·en·dip·i·ty

ˌserənˈdipədē/

noun

noun: serendipity; plural noun: serendipities

  1. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Waiting for Me

11 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

life lessons, love, truth

As I sit here, eyes heavy, tired — with a plan to be in dreamland about 30 minutes ago, I am instead honoring a different commitment to myself, and that is to write about things that move me in that moment.

As an entrepreneur (which in-and-of-itself is not so easy of a definition for me to write), I am constantly figuring out how to build my business. How to ‘scale’. What is the right product or service offering. Which price point makes sense, for my clients but also for me.  How do I market myself (without a marketing team). How I promote my brand (without a media agency). Who do I align myself with when I have limited time and endless amazing opportunities.

It’s exhausting and exhilarating.  Scary and exciting.  Crazy good and full of obvious mistakes.

And all of this happens while, at the same time, I’m trying to just be ‘me’. And that might sound silly to some, but I think to many of my colleagues and friends going through a similar journey but with a different objective, it truly will resonate. Because sometimes the version that we have of ourselves and our capabilities are clouded with fear and doubt, contradiction and denial, impatience and lack of self confidence.

Yet. We truly only have two options:

1.  Give up. Accept the unknown and never get to the end because we fear the worst.

or

2.  Forge on. Up the hill. Across the chasm. Through the potential shame, embarrassment and fear of ridicule should we fail … Should we not meet our expectation. Should we accomplish less than what we set out to achieve.

And if we choose the latter .. then we must accept our flaws.  Embrace our individual ‘features’.  Live in permanent Beta.  Trust that all roads lead us to a better place if we’re determined to get there.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I am tired of waiting for me.  Especially when I am right here, and am the.only.thing standing in my own way.

thomas-tucker-149020-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Thomas Tucker on Unsplash

Author’s personal note:

To my friend whom I adore and have all the patience in the world for — I don’t know what the future holds but I know that you are holding it in your hands.  I can’t wait until you release and see yourself as I see you and as I know the world is waiting to embrace.  

Perspective

01 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

finding perspective, life lessons, living your best life, relationships, truth, weekends, writing

Once a month I leave my apartment for a weekend to gain perspective. I find myself a cute getaway within 100 or so miles that brings me joy and a new landscape.

hmb march 31 beach.png

The ultimate goal is to escape into a world complete only with reading, writing and relaxing — but to be honest, these first few months have been more about just finding the ground beneath me. Maybe towards the end of 2018 I’ll achieve the intention that I set when I put this into my yearly resolutions. But maybe not. And that will be okay too.

hmb march 31 sign.png

This weekend, I found myself thinking about perspective. How our thoughts unfold the world before us. How sometimes we’re so envious of other people’s lives, only to learn that it’s just as hard as ours — and just as good as ours — just different. And how a simple comment, message or check in with a friend or mentor can reframe everything.

Over the last few weeks the world has reminded me of Albert Einstein’s Theory of Happiness that he wrote in 1922.

“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness”.

I believe this with every fabric of my being …. Yet I still relentlessly pursue.

I relentlessly pursue the art of giving back. I find so much joy in helping make connections between two people. And the joy only builds when I learn that both received something beneficial from the simple act of an introduction.

I relentlessly pursue feeling connected. My road ahead is shorter every day and I feel an urgent desire to make each day count with people that are good for my soul.

I relentlessly pursue being full. Because being still is really, really hard. And busy makes me happy.

What I don’t relentless pursue is money, which is odd because I need that to live.

But last week my coach (whom I recommend to everyone interested in growing as a leader) gave me some perfectly placed advice. She said that I can make money AND make connections and give back. It’s not an “or” — it’s an “and”. And I just loved that.

We don’t have to leave our normal day to day to gain perspective. But we do need to pursue it.

If you’re reading this, send someone a random text or place an out-of-the-blue phone call. Make someone’s day because it’s good for everyone’s soul.

joanne hmb by asa

Photo courtesy of my friend Asa, who is always good for my soul.

 

with special thanks to those that recently brought me perspective on my journey — and are just good for my soul — Karen, Jen, Rebecca, Sarah, Kas, Asa, FF and always my family.  

Co-Create with the Universe

08 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons

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Tags

belief, life, manifest, trust, universe

Many years ago (decades actually), I found myself immersed with self help books. I was looking for answers but funny enough, I didn’t even know what problem I was trying to solve. It wasn’t until years later that the two came together. And now – more than 20 years later – the lessons that I learned have resurfaced, even more powerful than before. And I’m really excited about how I can use those beliefs to co-create my life with the Universe.

the universe reveals its secrets

Here is how and why.

When I was reading authors like Deepak Chopra, Don Miguel Ruiz, Julia Cameron, Sarah Ban Breathnach and Tony Robbins, for whatever reason believing in the Universe resonated with me.  Just like how people believe in God or other higher powers, I believed in the power of the Universe — and even more so, my own ability to manifest my life with the help of the Universe.

I wasn’t sure why except that ever since I was young, I believed that life would work out — and that I had a say in how things would unfold. Over the years, even when there were terrible things happening, I felt rest assured that things would be okay. Sort of like that old adage “everything happens for a reason”.

I knew that our thoughts and beliefs would manifest their way into our reality — and if we focused on the positive – then good things would happen — and if we focused on the negative, then that is what would come our way.

the universe has a way

Over that past year a good friend of mine has shared some podcasts and audiobooks that he’s been listening to — and to my surprise, some of them have been self help books whose messages sounded really familiar. When he would share more about the subject, it brought me back to all the books that I had read and it made me reflect on what I did with all those valuable lessons and the wonderful foundation that I had built for myself.

I realized that even though I started my adult life with an amazing core belief in myself, over the last 10 years in-particular, I forgot about my trust in the Universe and I’ve let problems and situations overcome me. I wouldn’t say I completely abandoned my belief, but I didn’t lead with it.  Two years ago was one of the low points. While I knew in my head that things would work out for the best, my heart wasn’t in sync. And while it might not have looked bad on the outside, it was a really big struggle for me on the inside to find my way.

So something urged me to dive back in. On Boxing Day this past year, my sister and I went shopping and I specifically wanted to visit a book store. I love walking around books stores and I hope that they never, ever go away with technology.

I visited the business section first and picked up a couple titles and then I went to the self help section in search of something but I wasn’t sure what. One book caught my attention – The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. The title fit my old belief system exactly, even if it wasn’t being used in my every day life. So I bought it and I started to read it with a childish-like feeling of excitement.

Very quickly, I couldn’t believe the words I was reading and the feelings that I had. All of the messages she was writing about made perfect sense. It was perfectly aligned with my inner voice that knows that at the beginning and end of the day, I have the power to create the life I want and the ability to set fear aside and replace it with joy, abundance and happiness.

So I decided that it’s time to up my game and realize the life that I want to live. And this time, I’m going to co-create it with the one thing that has never let me down – my belief in the Universe. I know that together, we make a great team — and together, we can accomplish a lot of really amazing things.

thank you universe

 

Thanks FF for the inspiration.

Being Here, Now.

23 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Business, Inspiration, Life's Lessons

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Tags

feeling satisfied, life lessons, striving for greatness

I am faced with a huge dilemma on a weekly basis … To work or not to work.  Or more simply put, when and HOW to take time away from work and be OK with where I am [and more importantly where I am not].

I know I’m not alone when say that I feel down because “I’m not there yet”. But I really want to turn that around into a positive instead of a negative.

It sounds ridiculous — who doesn’t know how to NOT work? To relax? How to forget about the 9-5 job that tires us out?  How many people long for the end of the work day or work week?   ….  Well, as much as I sometimes have those feelings, the reality is, I love my job. I love the business I’m building. And sometimes I think I could literally work 24/7. Some people accuse me of working too much but they are simply unaware of all the breaks I take to drink wine, run and spend time with cool friends and family. [one might be shocked but I do find time to relax]

But that said, I do also love taking moments away from work; away from building; away from networking and simply reflecting on where I am right now. Yet — I find it hard to do, and I’m not sure why.

I think it’s an illness of some kind, yet I’m OK with it. So that’s weird, right?

So today I’m forcing myself to not only not work, but to reflect and be perfectly OK with where I am right now — and celebrate the fact that I’m not ‘there yet’.

I’m going to reflect back on all my wins.  The big ones.  The little ones.  The ‘hard lesson’ ones.  And those easy ones too, because nothing is really easy when you’re building a business – it truly is because of hard work and grit that things become ‘easy’.

I’ve spent a lot of hours in meetings. Having coffees. Hearing stories. Absorbing. Listening. And I’ve happily prioritized advising founders and connecting them into a network that has taken me years to build, simply because it fills me up to be helpful … and it is the business I’m building, even if there aren’t economics with every interaction.

Along the way, as I’ve added value to people and companies, I have built a business model that is on the cusp of growing into something big, but more importantly — people love it, and that brings me a great sense of calm knowing that I’m on the right path.

So I need to take this moment and just be.  Be ‘not there yet’ and be OK with it.  Be ‘on my way’ to greatness, but still on the roller coaster journey.  Be on the path to bigger and better yet sometimes feel small and insignificant.  Be okay with ‘not right now’ responses or ‘thanks, but no thanks’ … because every No is one step closer to a Yes.

Because if I was there — and I mean really there — then all I would do was set my sights onto something else. Something higher. Something bigger. Or something with a different meaning or purpose. But the point is that I would still be striving for something other than what I had.  That is human nature. And it’s what makes us achieve great and unimaginable things!  So we need to be OK with that, as we also need to be OK with the great journey that leads us where we’re going.

So if I were a golfer and I went out on a beautiful day with the sun shinning … and I shot an 89 …. I should celebrate that 89 and embrace the talent and technique that it took to get that score, because that is not an easy score to reach.  The avid golfers reading this get it.   Now … if I think that I should be hitting an 82 and I get down because I didn’t score lower, then I’ve missed the opportunity to feel joy because I’m thinking about the 7 shot differential.  But the truth is – I could have hit a 92. Or even 100! Or more!  …. So 89 doesn’t look so bad from that perspective.  And it’s on the path to an 82 … so one should celebrate that.   Just like I’m going to celebrate exactly where I am today, which is ‘not there yet, but on my way!‘.

golf swing

 

And no. I didn’t shoot an 89 today …. nor did I go golfing … LOL …. but a friend did and he reminded me that I need to celebrate where I am today. And he should too. 

But …. when I do go out and shoot an 89 (because anything is possible especially with my buddy Scott beside me) you can bet I’m going to celebrate it like crazy! 

 

The Dirt Road Home

11 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons

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Tags

canada, farm girl, friends, life lessons, Silicon Valley

I’m at home and winding down with my glass of red wine after a Canadian going away party that gave me a gift I wasn’t expecting.

You always think … “I hope I meet someone fun … or, I hope it’s a good group of peeps” … or maybe I’m the only one that thinks that and if so, then maybe be careful if you invite me to your party in the future for fear of my expectations .. LOL.

But alas, my honest self is here to reveal that those expectations are always on my mind … That I meet someone or I learn something that I can apply in my life and become a better person because of.

So tonight …. I’m happy to say that the evening exceeded my expectations. And sometimes my expectations are high (which don’t judge, isn’t a bad thing) … but sometimes they truly are as grass roots as the farm that I grew up on.

high level 2017

This is today’s view from the road to my “home” where I grew up and where I learnt so many lessons that I’m still applying to my life today.

Why?

Well tonight I met someone who grew up similar to me … on a farm … who made it from nowhere to somewhere … and who now looks at life from the same viewpoint as me.   Yes, one side is capitalism …. no shame there, but also from a perspective of purpose, planet and people.  And, my God, it was refreshing.  Just the whole conversation and perspective blew my mind and inspired my thinking.

And yet I can’t help but find it fascinating that you can meet someone at a party for people that you know (relatively) very little, and you can connect with a random stranger in a profound way, even though you’re from completely (and I mean completely) different subsets of the world.  But (and here’s the good part) with a glass of wine (or two) and LOADS of curiosity … you can uncover that your simplistic upbringing has created a similar mindset and belief system that, unbeknownst to you, is probably a reason why you’re sitting across from each other talking about a subject that would bore the rest of the guests in attendance.

But for me … what I loved, is that I could talk for hours and feel so grateful for the random encounter that somehow, now, seemed perfectly curated.

Because no matter if you’re 33 … or 46 … married with two kids … or twice married and no kids … from East Germany or Northern Alberta … Communist or Capitalist …. it is really amazing how much we can feel and learn and appreciate in a short period of time, and with absolutely no reason whatsoever, feel an amazing bond of energy that lifts your soul and makes you take a pause in life … if only for a moment.

And the icing on the cake is when you can share a story about the long road “home” … that only had two left turns after 5,6, 8 hours of driving …. before you reached a vast farmland that seemed to offer so little, but in the end gave you everything you needed in life …. then I’ll call that a hell of a win for a Saturday night.

Beyond grateful … for where I grew up … and for where I am today.

Standing Beside Integrity

01 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons

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Tags

belief, integrity, strength, trust, truth

integrity or ethics concept

I am sure that I am not alone when I say that I’ve experienced my share of heartbreak, both personally and professionally.

While we might call it by another name in business, the impact and result is very similar – hurt, anger, maybe even shame, or the feeling of being treated unfairly and not having a voice to stand up for you. Pretty hard stuff to get through when it happens.

What’s even more difficult is hearing “well, maybe it was the best thing to happen to you”.  Ugh. really? Who wants to hear that?  Or, is it a belief that we should embrace and believe to move on unscathed?

I’ve recently heard from friends, colleagues and people that I’ve met for the first time, of their experiences of being severely let down; “creative differences”; and heartbreak that left them standing alone to figure out what’s next. My heart goes out to them, but more importantly I want to pass along my strength. I have all the time in the world to listen to the pain — or shock — or anger, and be there as they get through it the only way they know how. And I hope they will apply the Pay it Forward model when their time comes to listen. After all, chances are we’re going to experience something similar in our lifetime, and probably more than once.

One of the best things that we can all do during this time is live with integrity. I believe we need to do this regardless if we end up swimming in the same swimming pool, share DNA, or have to encounter the situation on a regular basis. We also have to remember to not let it take all the goodness out of us.

We can’t stop trusting. We can’t stop ourselves from falling in love. We shouldn’t ever stop dreaming.

We just have to do it with a little more wisdom and maybe a little more cautious optimism.

Years back I let someone else’s lack of integrity disrupt my world. Interrupt my passion. Stop my path to success.  And it really sucked. For a long time.  It took years of unhappiness, relentless pursuit of something that I couldn’t quite define (and therefore attract), and I built a running commentary in my brain that “I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t deserve to find and live my passion again”.

And then I did find it! And I lived it!

And then it happened again.

Wait, what? Again?  Hum … Like I said before .. we’ll probably all suffer pain way more than once in our lifetime.

The difference is that I learnt the only way to get back on my feet was through the pain. Through the shame. Through the disappointment. Through the running commentary in my head that I wasn’t good enough — until I arrived at the point that I believed I was good enough. Because we ALL are good enough … and MORE.

Everyone close to me – and even those not – told me that giving up was not an option. Moving forward was the only path. And I had to go through all of the messiness in order to find a clear path. And I had to do it with my integrity in tact. I had to trust that it was the only way for me to move past it and continue on my own path to greatness.

The other day I heard ‘there are three sides to every story’. And I guess that is the truth. But deep down, we know what’s right and what isn’t. If it’s not obvious on the onset, then it becomes clear and sometimes it’s that moment that can really define who you are as a human being.

And just the other day a friend told me that she received an apology from a girl that bullied when she was a kid. And you know … 30 years later, it helps. It heals.

So whatever side you’re on when it comes to hurt, disappointment, failure … Live with integrity. While the ‘best thing to happen to you’ is sometimes a long game … there is truth to it.

integrity-002

in·teg·ri·ty 

inˈteɡrədē/

noun

the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

 

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