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Being Superwoman

Being Superwoman

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Saturday Mornings

20 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Family, Health & Exercise

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Christmas, friends, running, saturday mornings, sleeping in, trails, utah

good_morning_wallpapers_free_download_good_morning_wishes_and_quotes_for_happy_morning_wallpapers

 

It’s 0830 and I have yet to get out of bed. Call it lazy. Call it boring. Call it un-productive, but today I call it perfect.

For the better part of nine months this year I woke up on the weekends with one of my most favorite things planned … to go for a run. I had to start from scratch last year as I was coming off an injury that turned into a surgery that got complicated by a great distraction … so it wasn’t always an early morning and a long run, but it was always the focus.

And then the training runs did get long … and the desire and need for new trails came up … and those were even a further drive away … which meant that sometimes me and my (amazing!!!) running gals would head out for 18 miles and oops, get lost and then run 24! Friends and family were very patient when we left by 0630 and got home in the very late afternoon. And then, yep, of course we’d all get up Sunday and go for another run (albeit not quite as far).

In the final two months of my training I was out of the door by zero dark hundred … running in the double digits … and enjoying the beautiful trails for hours. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes on my own. Often I would run with one or two for 10-ish miles and then someone else would join or replace the others so that I could get my long runs done without too much time on my own. My running friends are beyond awesome.

So today …. No long run. Actually, probably no run at all. Just the day in front of me for however I choose. And right now, as I type this post … I’m loving what is in front of me … a smile from spending two days with a new friend and enjoying a precious little girl … knowing my mom is home from her hospital visit and on her road to recovery … the thought of making perogies with my sister when I am home next week for the holidays (I’m certain to impress a boy with home-made perogies, right!?!) … and thinking about the canvas I’ll paint for my life in 2015 … I’ve never been to Utah. Perhaps it should make the list this year. I hear there is lots to do in Utah and I bet they have a few trails I would enjoy.

#TimeToGetUp!

The Footsteps of Superwoman

09 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Family, Life's Lessons, Love

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blog, desperation, divorce, exploring, friends, happiness, inspiration, joy, marriage, mom, parent, running, step-daughter, step-mom, step-parent, struggles, superwoman, writing

When I came up with the title of this blog it was because at the time, I was playing the role of step-mom to a beautiful 10 year old girl, and it was the first time in my life that I got to experience being a parent. I quickly discovered a huge appreciation for every parent on the planet and especially those that were doing it alone. I was amazed how important it became for me to drop my work and ensure this girl learned her multiplication, completed her homework, adapted to the nuances of living here, and at the same time, met some new friends and started to experience all the beauty that surrounded us. While it wasn’t easy, because I’m pretty good at being a workaholic, there wasn’t ever any contest — without asking, the girl and her needs always won over (and happily so).

I kept the name of the blog even though by the time I starting writing, my circumstances had changed and (sadly for some reasons, and happily for others) I was faced with simply taking care of me again. With a little time I have learned that there is also something heroic about waking up and trying to figure out what I want. Did you know that it’s actually easier to wake up when you know the routine so perfectly, when you don’t have time to think? Simply wake the girl, prepare the lunch, make sure the girl gets up, do the first email check-in, ensure the homework’s packed, remind the girl we’re late, drive to school, be the friendly parent and say hello to the other busy moms and dads, hurry home, begin the day. With the absence of that purpose, it’s been WAY harder each morning — because now the purpose is me — and it has been a very long while since anyone took care of that girl.

“They say” the leading cause of divorce these days is marriage. Although I don’t know why, I do believe the statistic. 🙂 Something just seems to change when marriage is involved. Kids can play a big role, but even without children, many men and women loose themselves and struggle desperately to find their way back.

And then once we do separate and think, oh thank God I’m free from “that!”, we struggle to know who we are and what we want — and we spend oodles amounts of time and energy pushing away anything that looks remotely close to what we had in our past.

Right now I want to have it all. I want to be all of my many personalities and be all the ways that my heart tells me to be when I’m quiet enough to listen to it. I don’t want a box – certainly not the one that I’ve had before … but I do want some of the pieces that were in the box. Is it possible?  Of course it is … but it takes courage and relentless forward motion. Let’s hope I have both.

Because today I saw that little girl that inspired me to name this blog (amongst many other things that I’m sure will be the subject of future writings), and for those few hours, I was reminded what a real superwoman looks like. And that piece exists within me — that I know for sure, and it brings me joy when I think about it and her.  And I don’t want it to go away.

Tomorrow I get to be runner girl and wake up at 5:30 am to share a beautiful and challenging trail with some women I’m lucky to call my friends. I’ve desperately missed that, and them, and I always want to have this as my number one choice for a Saturday morning.

And then tomorrow night I’ll be just a girl out on the town with my best friend. I’ll wash the hours of sweat from my face and dirt from my toes and wear high heels or boots (cause it is San Francisco in the summer after all) and no one will know by looking at me the other sides that exist or that I started my day in a pair of trail shoes.

And the best part will be Sunday, when I get to be explorer girl and do something new with someone I am excited to get to know. Even though he’s only ready to see a few sides of me — that’s okay. We are all on our own path and the only thing important is to enjoy the path that we are on in that one moment.

Why can’t we be all of THAT in a marriage?

And if I thought I was on the wrong track, then the text from Alaska out of the blue as I started to write this blog, reminded me that I am not.

“and btw: your inner superwoman is right in front of you — there are a few occasions where she’s following YOUR footsteps”.

Wow. How can I not celebrate all of those pieces that make up the reason why I started this blog in the first place.

photo

Helping with the school book report … Priceless.

The Art of Being Alone

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Life's Lessons

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alone, concerts, crown and coke, dierks bentley, dining, friends, friendship, movies, running, shoreline, wine

At lunch today I had a conversation with someone that does a lot of traveling.  He’s fortunate that he’s built his career and life so that his work can blend seamlessly into his personal life.  And the crossover appears to be something that works. Not everyone can combine work and play. And not everyone wants to, that’s for sure.

But during our conversation the topic of traveling came up. And you see, I’m not a big traveler.  My excuse has been that I haven’t gone somewhere — with someone — or experienced that one moment where I caught “the bug”.  At least, not yet. When my friend asked why I didn’t travel (sorry Rob, classifying you as a friend already!) simply put, I told him that it’s probably because I haven’t really been asked much by friends, family or significant others. [Not to say no one has ever asked, or that I haven’t traveled, because they have, and I have … but generally speaking, I don’t travel much]  He asked why I didn’t travel alone then, and I didn’t have an answer.  Huh … I guess I really could.  Maybe I should. Yep, that is something I should consider. Probably something I should not just consider but actually do, because thinking about it will get me no where.

And then it got me thinking even more.   I DO do things alone and by myself.  I started out running by myself – lord knows how many miles I’ve logged with just my thoughts (yep, especially those days before the walkman turned iPod). But since I discovered a running group, truth be told, I log most of my miles with friends, and sometimes even strangers – thanks Mauve.  Especially the double digit runs, for which I might die of boredom otherwise. But I now prefer running with friends over running with myself nine times out of 10.  Could be because I’m actually that boring (don’t say it, because I am considering that very thought as I write!).

But wait – there is more!  I have eaten many a meals, especially while traveling for work, by myself.  I actually quite enjoy this – probably because I like the opportunity it brings to meet people.  The world is a blank canvas when I walk into a restaurant alone and it’s sort of a challenge to discover who will sit at the bar stool beside me.  So while I’m dining alone, I’m actually looking for entertainment and an experience. Maybe it doesn’t count?!?

I go to movies alone.  This is a good one … Because someone once told me, or I read it (eeks, it might have been an Anthony Robbins book, like 20 years ago), that going to a movie by yourself was empowering.  That is probably why I went. I wanted to feel empowered as a fresh out of school young woman looking for my way in the world.  I still go to movies by myself, and they are enjoyable. But movies are sort of a solo thing anyway, right?  You can’t talk throughout the movie.  If you’re with someone you like, then you can hold hands. If you’re with a really great girlfriend you can sneak in a bottle of wine and sit in the back row and at least smile to yourself knowing that you’re having a moment with a bestie that no one else in theatre will ever know about. Except for the cleaning crew when they discover the wine bottle as they clean up.  And if you’re with someone from Alaska, well, then that’s definitely one of the best ways to enjoy a movie without saying a thing. #best.movie.experience.ever

Tonight I went to a concert by myself.  I’ve done it before.  Saw the Dixie Chicks one year when I was home to visit my family.  Totally awesome concert but have to admit – a little different being there by yourself.  And of course I would run into someone I knew!! And you should have seen the look on their face when they asked “so who are you with?”.  ha ha.  But it didn’t stop me.  I went again a few years back to Miranda Lambert by myself.  Really wanted my Alaska friend to join me, but alas he was out of town.  Again, enjoyable, but it felt like something was missing.  And lastly, tonight, as I said, I went yet again by myself.

— Okay at this point, you might be wondering WHY am I going to so many concerts by myself.  Good question!  You see, the main reason is because I love country music and as it turns out, not many (like none) of my friends share in my enjoyment.  So it has gotten to the point where I don’t ask anyone to go with me.  I simply buy a ticket if I want to go, because I think that going with someone who doesn’t enjoy the music, might actually be worse than going to a concert by yourself.

yay_country_music-3201

But back to my story.  Shoreline had over 21,000 fans tonight that came out to see Dierks Bentley. Now that’s an interesting number.  21,000 people that live in the Bay Area that LOVE country music (men, women, old, young, HOT, not so hot at all, drunk, sober), you get the picture … but yet not one of those 21,000 people were one of my friends.  Why couldn’t just one be my best friend, no forget that, even just a casual acquaintance that I met randomly at a restaurant bar out for dinner one night – that I learned we shared a love for country music and that is the extent of our friendship – we go to concerts together!  BUT … Nope!  Not even someone like that.

It might sound like I’m complaining, or feeling sorry for myself, but I’m actually not.  I just learned that while one can love something a lot, I think in a lot of cases, it’s just way more enjoyable to do it with someone who can enjoy it with you.

My one exception is drinking.  And writing a blog.  While drinking is super fun with friends (jumping fences, skinny dipping, wine tastings – I should stop right there), right now I’m enjoying tremendously my Crown and Coke as I sit outside my apartment and write this blog.  Life is perfect in this moment, even if just one hour ago I felt alone in an amphitheatre with 21,000 people that all shared one of my favorite things to do.

So maybe it’s not about just the things that you love, but knowing the things you love to do with someone, and the things that you love to do without them.

It’s All About Community

22 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration

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book club, books, community, friends, neighborhood, neighbors, running

There are so many great ways to describe “community”.

Community could literally be the four square blocks around your home made up of people that share your same Zip Code (or Postal Code if you’re in Canada). And that community could be comprised 100% of people that you don’t know, never mind could rely on in a time of struggle or need.

Another community is your friends. Those that are there when you have good news to share, a complaint to sort through, or somewhere in-between based on the year, the day or let’s be honest, the boss that is making your current job miserable.

Sometimes communities form out of other communities – the group that gets together over a special event, a sport, a book club or perhaps something less common like, let’s say, a psychic reading, where you find some commonalities that make you feel connected.community heart

I think a goal should be to have as many communities as you can in your life – for all kinds of situations and events. I think a variety helps to provide perspective and an outside view which you might not have otherwise been able to see. Dare I say that actually hanging around the same community, all of the time, is not as healthy and certainly does not offer much by way of diversity.

Sometimes it is awesome to bring your one or two community groups together – because like I said, it offers diversity and a change of perspective. But sometimes I think it’s perfectly Ok to keep them somewhat separate if the tastes and talents are not aligned.

Recently I’ve had one community that I’ve re-developed and I am so excited to have the people reintroduced into my life. That community for me is my running community. The group of gals that for the most part meet me at 8am on a Saturday morning, endure my crazy stories while climbing hills and running through the woods (and I endure theirs), and then finish with a cup of coffee before we head out on our own merry way only to see each other again in exactly seven days — at the approximate same time, in the approximate same location, and to essentially repeat the same thing. But guess what. We ALL love it. We all come back. Even if we didn’t quite like the stories. Even if the hills were not nice to us and made us walk funny for days. Even if we felt outside of our comfort zone and pushing limits beyond our personal beliefs.

Now some might say, “Yeah but it’s about the running. You enjoy it because it’s about the running. It’s exercise so it doesn’t matter. Right?” Actually I’d say wrong, and my response would be that the running is actually second behind the community that comprises it.

Regardless what community you have or how it was built, or for what reason it exists … if it’s something that feeds you and lifts you up – I say it’s something you should be thankful for and remember is there for you when the world seems a little upside down. Or right side up! Celebrate with your community as much as you rely on it for support.

Thank you to the community around me. Not the apartment complex where I live where my direct neighbor won’t even say hello to me as we pass in the hallway. But the community that joins together to discuss a book that we all committed to reading (just because someone suggested it was a good idea). Or the friend that is outside my gym at 6am with a smile on her face and enthusiasm beyond my understanding to spend the next hour with me. And the family that I know, no matter what, is the best community that I will ever have.

If you’re stuck and can’t determine how or where to build your community, follow this one rule: Find people that make you not want to look at your phone. That’s a good starting point.

LOVE HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE AND I DONT LOOK AT MY PHONE

“The House That Built Me”

10 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Family, Life's Lessons, Love

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disappointment, family, farm, friends, growing up, inspiration, life lessons, love, Lyrics, Miranda Lambert, priceless, ski-dooing, snowmobiling, The House That Built Me

The other day I had the opportunity to introduce “The House That Built Me” by Miranda Lambert to two special people. This song has to be one of my top three songs ever. Actually, if I think about it, it is more like my favorite song of all time because of the deep connection I feel with it.

It’s not often that I introduce it to someone and they “get it”. Sadly, when I’ve been so excited about sharing this small insight into who I am with friends, loved ones or strangers, they have mostly displayed little enthusiasm or connection. And it can be SO discouraging – when you care about someone and you really want them to “get you” — and they respond with something like “it’s nice … so what’s for dinner?”.

So what’s the song about that I love it and make desperate attempts to have those in my life understand it (and me)?

Well, it has a very literal and figurative meaning for me. I like to think it was written from a real life experience and the writers were compelled to put pen to paper because of the difficult moment they were going through. If they didn’t – well they at least described my life pretty well. Since we all interpret words and experiences differently, I guess that’s the reason why it’s hard to find someone who understands it in the same way as I do. But the other night was surprisingly different. Finally, I shared it with someone who understood the piece inside of me that I really wanted them to “get”.

I grew up in a very small town that was extremely remote and hundreds of miles away from what most people my age had surrounding them. I was raised on a farm in Northern Alberta and “The House That Built Me” was literally the house that my father built and we lived in growing up on the farm. But the story isn’t as much about the physical house — it is more so about all that surrounded the house that played an instrumental role in who I have become as a person. Turns out this small remote farming town, with a Latitude of 58°N and a Longitude of 117°W, and a population of around 1,200 at the time, and winter temperatures often in the -30 to -40° Celsius, well it turns out … it had to lot to offer.

Looking back – I’m extremely grateful for my childhood – and especially the experience that the farm provided me. (I’d be remiss if I gave all of the credit to the farm and not to my wonderful parents — who always provided a loving, safe and thankfully, a very humble upbringing). But I have some great and unique memories from my childhood — watching calves being born and life created in an instant, Easter Egg hunts amongst the bales at the cow yard, going ski-dooing until our face was so frozen that you had to give in and go into the house to warm up, learning how to drive by the age of 11 and being able to take dinner to my dad {by.myself.I’ll.add} while he was harvesting late into the evening, and oh all of the fun times keeping myself entertained with a simple mud puddle. These life experiences, turned values, were (as I now know), priceless.

BUT it was not without some challenges. And the day I moved away … I was so happy and I vowed silently to my 15 year old self that I would never – ever – EVER – return to the town. You remember how traumatic life can be as a teenager, right?

Over the years I have, of course, matured and in addition to moving far away, I have been fortunate to have opportunities that have expanded my mind and way of thinking. And it has made me more appreciative for all of the challenges and disappointments along the way. I look back and it’s certainly not the past that I would have wanted to write about … but alas, it is the one that is being written.

So ever since I heard “The House that Built Me”, it’s been the comfort that I’ve needed to get past the brokenness … the failed marriages … the feelings of being alone (even when self-imposed) … the separation that comes from leaving family and having friends walk away …. and the severe disappointment knowing that all that I might have wanted in my life, might never come to fruition.

The lyrics read “You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can … I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am” has been so true for me. In general we let too many people, things and situations re-define us and shift our way of thinking that we forget about how strong we are … and how sometimes, what or where we are in life, is a result of doing our best and being determined to not give up – regardless how disruptive the path has been. And sometimes, we need to embrace the wonderful things that are right in front of us, without questioning or worrying so much about timing or right versus wrong, or what others might say.

I went back to this town a few years back. I did it with my Dad and got to hear story after story about life on the farm and his recollection of life back then … and that experience in-and-of-itself, was beyond amazing. Much had, of course, changed in 25 years but some things really didn’t. And there were friends and families there that I used to go to school with – ride the bus with – build ice sculptures with – and spend my time with from the age of zero until 15. And that was pretty cool.

We don’t get to write our story before it happens. Sometimes life is quite frankly unfair. People disappoint us and delight us at the most inopportune times. And we survive. We forgive. Or we move on and forget. Hopefully — when you remember back to the house that built you — and you look to the house that you live in today — you see some resemblance and can find appreciation and strength in the person you’ve become and the small mark you’ll leave on this world.

Oh, and for those two special people that heard the song and appreciated the lyrics … thank you – for seeing beyond the words, and into the house.

The house where I grew up. Albeit it looks a little different now.

The house where I grew up. August 2012. 

The House That Built Me Lyrics

I know they say, you can’t go home again
. Well, I just had to come back one last time
. And Ma’am, I know, you don’t know me from Adam
. But these hand prints on the front steps are mine.

Up those stairs, in that little back bedroom, is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar. 
And I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
, my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
, this brokenness inside me might start healing. 
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself.

If I could just come in, I swear I’ll leave
. Won’t take nothing but a memory. 
From the house that built me.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years. 
From “Better Homes and Garden” magazine. 
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
 and nail by nail and board by board
, Daddy gave life to mama’s dream.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing
. Out here it’s like I’m someone else 
I thought that maybe I could find myself.

If I could just come in, I swear I’ll leave
. Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me.

You leave home, you move on 
and you do the best you can. 
I got lost in this whole world aAnd forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
, this brokenness inside me might start healing
. Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself. If I could walk around, I swear I’ll leave.

Holding nothing but a memory
, from the house that built me.

Watch The House That Built Me Video

 

 

Love Yourself (more)

14 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Health & Exercise, Inspiration, Love

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bubble baths, chocolate, Diane Ackerman, february 14, football, friends, House of Cards, love, love yourself, massage, relax, self love, smartphone, valentine, valentine's day, watch my kids play, wine

Today is Valentine’s Day so it’s easy for us to remember our loved ones and to think about things that make us feel good – chocolate and massages and sweet notes to our Valentines, maybe a glass of wine with our friends. But what if we took what today is all about and applied it to our lives on a regular basis?

roses-heart-bouquet-valentines-day

I once heard someone say that we take our car into the mechanic when the light reminds us to change the oil, or when our tires are flat, yet we ignore almost every warning sign that our body gives us when we need to relax or take better care of ourselves. Why is that? Are we so out of touch with the aches and pains, or the feeling that we get when we do treat ourselves with love, that we don’t recognize the signs even when they are pretty obvious?

Let’s not wait until we get sick or feel miserable to treat ourselves with love! Let’s actually apply February 14th – the day of love – to EVERY month of the year. Does that sound like something you’d like? I know I would!

So moving forward, on the 14th of every month, I will add a reminder to my blog post to treat yourself to some love, or better yet maybe I’ll dedicate the entire post to it! And we can do the journey together for a lifetime full of more love and less warning signs.

It can be whatever you want it to be. A long soak with bubbles and candles …. an uninterrupted game of Football on a Saturday afternoon … permission to sleep in …. or stay up late! …. a longer lunch with a friend … or just sitting and watching your child play with your smartphone far – far away. I have been practicing a little more self love these days and it is really wonderful! Today I had a nice workout … helped a friend with his business … treated myself to a massage … and watched House of Cards while I ate a late lunch (with two pieces of chocolate as my dessert). Life is too short to just live the length of it — I want to live the width of it as well.

So I would like you to consider more self love. Whatever that looks like for you – give it more of a try these days. Or at least, come on, once a month!

self love is

 

 

You Never Know

06 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Business, Family, Inspiration

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Tags

conference, friends, giving back, startup grind, unconference, VC

It’s hard to know what the outcome will be of anything you do. You could wake up super excited for no reason at all and have the best day of your life … or it could be the worst day without rhyme or reason.  On any given day we have no idea what will happen – who we will meet – what events will occur … or if we will make a meaningful impact on someone or something through the course of the day. And that should be something that we all embrace versus fear. Easier said than done, right?!  … I know!

The conference that I just attended was unlike any other conference for one small but critical reason – the founder made the simple act of giving back to other attendees a core part of how everyone interacted. Instead of the “Hi I am so-and-so and I do such-and-such … what about you?” … and then the “boring, exactly-the-same-response” in return type of dialogue … the conversations went like this “Tell me your story …. how can I help you?”. And that simple question changed the landscape of the entire event.

IMG_8238

Instead of putting your head down and walking past people, everyone looked you in the eye and said hello – and then stopped – and a meaningful conversation followed. Crazy, right?!

Now, not all connections will bring life-stopping change to the world, but I have to say that out of everyone that I met in 2.5 days, probably a solid 80% provided me with something of value. Such as ….

– I met a VC that is now trying to help connect me to the right company to find a job — thank you Dave!! You’re amazing!

– I met a fellow Canadian who is looking for some running routes around the city, to which I would be more than happy to share my favorite spots with Nathan (coming soon via LinkedIn my friend)

– I met Pete (who recognized me from my Twitter profile because I re-tweeted him the day before) who is originally from London and is now living in Whistler doing something really neat with 360 degree video … was introduced to that same VC mentioned above and who knows where that will lead! Good luck Pete! Not to mention that I now know someone who lives in Whistler! ha ha

– I got to interact with loads of young, spirited, bright-eyed 20-something year olds that have the ideas and enthusiasm to one day be ON the stage at these events in a few years — so I will be able to say “remember when we met and we laughed so hard at the whatchamacallit” — Girolama, what fun!! I look forward to your return trip in March!

… My point is that while we wake up and we go about our day with either hope or perhaps on some days, let’s admit it, a little despair … we never (ever) really know where the day will take us. We have to be open to all of the possibilities. We surely won’t see or experience change by living in our typical box — keeping our head down as we pass the new hire at the water cooler or stranger in the line at Starbucks .. so try to take the “give something back” approach and look to each person you encounter today with the concept of helping him or her along their journey. You might be pleasantly surprised with where it will lead you.

And by the way .. you can apply this to your personal life and not just work. Weaving this concept into your daily life with those that mean the most to you will have profound effects on the relationships with each person in your inner circle.

A final shout out to Mia, Elissa, Adam (Dr. Love), Thomas, Girolama and Silke — thanks for a very fun evening. See you at Startup Grind 2015!

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