• About
  • Contact

Being Superwoman

Being Superwoman

Tag Archives: friendship

My Tribe

27 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

commitment, family, friends, friendship, group, love, tribe, wierdos

A few years ago I read an article in a running magazine about the concept of a “Tribe”.  As soon as I read the words, they resonated … and I smiled knowing that I understood.

Tribe

Like anything in life, we can take a concept and create whatever we want from it. For me .. the concept of a Tribe has always been an evolution.  A decade ago I was introduced to the mindset of a personal “Board of Directors” …which I applied for many years until I read about the concept of a Tribe, which I liked much better than Board of Directors —- because it implied people are there beside you versus there above you.

So what … who … is a Tribe? 

Sometimes … your Tribe is your group of childhood friends that remember you as the geeky, not-so-polished, perhaps a little awkward kid … who wanted to hang out with you because he/she was just as geeky, with as much room for improvement as you!

Sometimes … your Tribe is a group of people that share your passion – for the things you love and support  … be it a sports team, a political movement or a personal commitment to a cause that extends beyond your individual capacity to make a difference.

Sometimes .. your Tribe is your morning run group … the men and women that are there at “O’dark hundred hours”, who keep you company as you wake up and face your greatest fears … or celebrate your smallest of successes.

Sometimes … your Tribe is simply your friend(s) that have your back. Period. They are there for you no matter what —- and they call, and text, and they show up like no one else ever could. Now those are good people.

Sometimes …  your Tribe can be a surprise — A person that you just met, that you share an amazing connection with and have endless amounts of things in common … Or it could be a new idea that takes shape and leads you into directions you didn’t know existed.   It could simply be something that thing makes you go …  huh?! … I like that … I want to be a part of that … I want to shape that … Perhaps I want to lead it.  Or maybe following is perfect too – but I want to make sure I’m not missing it!!

I believe your TRIBE is exactly what — and who — and how you want it to be … you might have to go looking for it … or it might fall into your lap. Either way works …. beautifully.

We can do a lot on our own, but with a Tribe, we are unstoppable.

Thanks to my Tribe. The concept is a growing evolution but you are all a constant rock of stability in my life. >> You all know who you are. 

Who is your TRIBE?

behind every successful women Tribe

 

 

Radical Generosity

09 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

CEO, complicated, friendship, generosity, generous, giving, humility, invitation, lessons, life, motto, SheEO, Vicki, women entrepreneurs

I was so, so, so fortunate to be in the presence of some really amazing women a couple weeks back while visiting Toronto. Vicki hosted this group at her home (that would rival any 4 star restaurant in San Francisco!) for an evening of connection amongst amazing women entrepreneurs, vc’s, and other superb women in tech … plus little ole me. Thank you Vicki ~ I am in awe and with HUGE appreciation!

During this evening Vicki describes what she prescribes to — Radical Generosity … and she encouraged us all to consider following in her footsteps. Now, true to many women, and many Canadians, she practically apologized for saying out loud that she was practicing the art of radical generosity … which she shouldn’t … but I get it. Humility is a feature and it’s one we can’t shed (nor often should).

But the message came across without any feeling of ego or princess-likeness … It was simply her, from the heart, with what she believed in. And I was simply blown away because I loved being in the presence of that kind of giving and that kind of collaboration.

Even though I am both a woman, and a Canadian, and hopefully often display way more acts of kindness and humility than not, it still inspired me to really consider this statement and see what else I could be doing to be an owner of radical generosity.

For many reasons this resonated with me … history aside and the way my parents raised me .. which has everything to do with who I am … I believe in it because I.don’t.see.it.in.this.world.enough!! I am out there everyday connecting with new work colleagues, new personal relationships, past relationships on all fronts … and there is a huge gap on this planet (or at least where my latitude and longitude reside) … and it makes me, well, want to write a blog post!

Giving costs you nothing. It’s a smile sometimes. It’s a name of someone who can help with a problem. It’s a guide to a new trail run. It’s the courtesy of being honest. It’s the little note that says “you’re fucking awesome”. It’s the 3pm Sunday afternoon birthday happy hour. It’s the special invitation to new years eve. It’s the thoughtful text message after receiving an “I’m sorry” card. It’s the 40 miles you’ll drive to say hello … give a hug … see a smile. Hell, it’s the 3,000 miles you’ll do for that. It’s the text message that says “hey bud, you’re amazing – have a great day”. It’s remembering who your friends were before illness and before life’s inevitable challenges and sending an invitation to join in for the party just the same. It’s no judgement!  It’s just really simple and it really, truly, costs you nothing for what you get in return.

I’m not sure why life gets so complicated. But I know that if we live within the world that we are meant to live within .. the world is not complicated … it makes perfect sense. So maybe we should really focus on radical generosity, but when it isn’t reciprocated, then we can’t take any offense and instead we move on. Maybe we taught the person something. Maybe not. That is never the point. The point is to give away that which we have, and to do it with a smile and without expectations in return.

Radical generosity. It’s my new motto. It will make the tagline on my next business card. Those that have seen mine know what I’m talking about. But it’s what I believe in and will happily deliver.

And for the person that felt that my world is too complicated because my generosity was in the middle, instead of driving to their world entirely, … then I’m sorry, but you haven’t learned the lesson.

And as a tribute to you, Vicki, for the inspiration of this post … here is a little quote someone shared with me awhile back. You’ll get the meaning as it is your motto … Cheers to you for paving the way! #SheCEO!!

ceo

Whatever is Good for the Soul. Do That.

10 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

choices, coffee, complicated, contentment, friendship, happiness, heart, husband, intentions, journey, living your best life, mind, mirror, path, simple, soul, strength, voice

This blog post is dedicated to a friend who asked me for advice on goal setting and living with intentions. We recently met up for coffee after a long while without much contact. You know how true friendships go – the authentic ones never go away, even when you live in different countries and sometimes struggle to find yourself. So we picked up almost exactly where we left off – minus a husband or two and a decade of change.

a strong friendship photo

This friend has always been an inspiration to me. She’s charismatic. VERY outgoing. Has an amazing laugh – so amazing! Lights up a room when she walks in. A really down to earth mom. And a damn cool chic. I’ve always been in awe of her. And we’ve always been on the same wave length when it comes to living our best life. But … we’ve both been human so sometimes we find it tough to know which is the right path to take when faced with walking away.

Given that we’re a lot older than we were way back then, I believe it’s even more critical to listen to our intuition (yes, we all have one) and remind ourselves what we want. Not what someone else wants. Not what “should” be best. Not what will save someone else pain, or bring someone else joy. Nope. At this juncture – we need to think deeply about how we show up in life and who gets to join us for the journey.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. 

It’s not easy to set goals for ourselves when others around us (those who love us and whom we might even love back) want something different from what we know to be true. We question our own desires. We fail to recognize our own strengths. We worry we might be wrong – – – and they might be right. But in all honesty, that’s impossible.

what brings you joyIf we wake up every day and listen to what our body, mind and soul tells us, then we’ll be on the right path (for us, mind you … not for anyone else, but isn’t that the point?). But we have to listen. And we have to be strong. And we have to take the time needed to really feel what brings us joy – – – and what feels like too great of a compromise. Rushing to get on with the day only forces us to listen to outside reasoning, instead of the inside voice of contentment. Overthinking is incredibly dangerous. Life is not that complicated. We complicate it by overthinking what we already know but are too scared to listen to. Staying in something for the sake of someone else’s happiness only leads to sadness.

whatever is good for the soul photo

Setting goals can be intricate and detailed and take up lots of time to write, describe and consider how you will accomplish them. But … they can also be simple. You can literally just wake up and listen to you own voice. And if you listen to that voice for a moment, or a day, and then a week and a month .. it gets easier. Much easier.

Because when it comes time for coffee, and you’re faced with everything the other person wants you to be, you best be sure that you are the expert and know without a shadow of a doubt what will bring you joy. Thinking anyone else knows better than you – well, that just leads to a decade later and a rehearsal that you wished you missed.

—-

Wishing you nothing but the strength that I know you have at coffee tomorrow. Your words were so consistent and your voice so strong the other day. Listen to your own voice and make the decision right for you.

Whatever directtion you take though, know this … I will always be there as your friend and mirror. Months, decades, countries and changes in our paths will make no difference on how I hold you as a friend and how much I will support you in whatever you need.

may your choices reflect hope photo

The Art of Being Alone

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Life's Lessons

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

alone, concerts, crown and coke, dierks bentley, dining, friends, friendship, movies, running, shoreline, wine

At lunch today I had a conversation with someone that does a lot of traveling.  He’s fortunate that he’s built his career and life so that his work can blend seamlessly into his personal life.  And the crossover appears to be something that works. Not everyone can combine work and play. And not everyone wants to, that’s for sure.

But during our conversation the topic of traveling came up. And you see, I’m not a big traveler.  My excuse has been that I haven’t gone somewhere — with someone — or experienced that one moment where I caught “the bug”.  At least, not yet. When my friend asked why I didn’t travel (sorry Rob, classifying you as a friend already!) simply put, I told him that it’s probably because I haven’t really been asked much by friends, family or significant others. [Not to say no one has ever asked, or that I haven’t traveled, because they have, and I have … but generally speaking, I don’t travel much]  He asked why I didn’t travel alone then, and I didn’t have an answer.  Huh … I guess I really could.  Maybe I should. Yep, that is something I should consider. Probably something I should not just consider but actually do, because thinking about it will get me no where.

And then it got me thinking even more.   I DO do things alone and by myself.  I started out running by myself – lord knows how many miles I’ve logged with just my thoughts (yep, especially those days before the walkman turned iPod). But since I discovered a running group, truth be told, I log most of my miles with friends, and sometimes even strangers – thanks Mauve.  Especially the double digit runs, for which I might die of boredom otherwise. But I now prefer running with friends over running with myself nine times out of 10.  Could be because I’m actually that boring (don’t say it, because I am considering that very thought as I write!).

But wait – there is more!  I have eaten many a meals, especially while traveling for work, by myself.  I actually quite enjoy this – probably because I like the opportunity it brings to meet people.  The world is a blank canvas when I walk into a restaurant alone and it’s sort of a challenge to discover who will sit at the bar stool beside me.  So while I’m dining alone, I’m actually looking for entertainment and an experience. Maybe it doesn’t count?!?

I go to movies alone.  This is a good one … Because someone once told me, or I read it (eeks, it might have been an Anthony Robbins book, like 20 years ago), that going to a movie by yourself was empowering.  That is probably why I went. I wanted to feel empowered as a fresh out of school young woman looking for my way in the world.  I still go to movies by myself, and they are enjoyable. But movies are sort of a solo thing anyway, right?  You can’t talk throughout the movie.  If you’re with someone you like, then you can hold hands. If you’re with a really great girlfriend you can sneak in a bottle of wine and sit in the back row and at least smile to yourself knowing that you’re having a moment with a bestie that no one else in theatre will ever know about. Except for the cleaning crew when they discover the wine bottle as they clean up.  And if you’re with someone from Alaska, well, then that’s definitely one of the best ways to enjoy a movie without saying a thing. #best.movie.experience.ever

Tonight I went to a concert by myself.  I’ve done it before.  Saw the Dixie Chicks one year when I was home to visit my family.  Totally awesome concert but have to admit – a little different being there by yourself.  And of course I would run into someone I knew!! And you should have seen the look on their face when they asked “so who are you with?”.  ha ha.  But it didn’t stop me.  I went again a few years back to Miranda Lambert by myself.  Really wanted my Alaska friend to join me, but alas he was out of town.  Again, enjoyable, but it felt like something was missing.  And lastly, tonight, as I said, I went yet again by myself.

— Okay at this point, you might be wondering WHY am I going to so many concerts by myself.  Good question!  You see, the main reason is because I love country music and as it turns out, not many (like none) of my friends share in my enjoyment.  So it has gotten to the point where I don’t ask anyone to go with me.  I simply buy a ticket if I want to go, because I think that going with someone who doesn’t enjoy the music, might actually be worse than going to a concert by yourself.

yay_country_music-3201

But back to my story.  Shoreline had over 21,000 fans tonight that came out to see Dierks Bentley. Now that’s an interesting number.  21,000 people that live in the Bay Area that LOVE country music (men, women, old, young, HOT, not so hot at all, drunk, sober), you get the picture … but yet not one of those 21,000 people were one of my friends.  Why couldn’t just one be my best friend, no forget that, even just a casual acquaintance that I met randomly at a restaurant bar out for dinner one night – that I learned we shared a love for country music and that is the extent of our friendship – we go to concerts together!  BUT … Nope!  Not even someone like that.

It might sound like I’m complaining, or feeling sorry for myself, but I’m actually not.  I just learned that while one can love something a lot, I think in a lot of cases, it’s just way more enjoyable to do it with someone who can enjoy it with you.

My one exception is drinking.  And writing a blog.  While drinking is super fun with friends (jumping fences, skinny dipping, wine tastings – I should stop right there), right now I’m enjoying tremendously my Crown and Coke as I sit outside my apartment and write this blog.  Life is perfect in this moment, even if just one hour ago I felt alone in an amphitheatre with 21,000 people that all shared one of my favorite things to do.

So maybe it’s not about just the things that you love, but knowing the things you love to do with someone, and the things that you love to do without them.

Recent Posts

  • I am enough
  • Living Your Potential
  • Community
  • Chick Flicks
  • Day 14: Creating Success

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,109 other followers

Blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel