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Tag Archives: generous

Radical Generosity

09 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love

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CEO, complicated, friendship, generosity, generous, giving, humility, invitation, lessons, life, motto, SheEO, Vicki, women entrepreneurs

I was so, so, so fortunate to be in the presence of some really amazing women a couple weeks back while visiting Toronto. Vicki hosted this group at her home (that would rival any 4 star restaurant in San Francisco!) for an evening of connection amongst amazing women entrepreneurs, vc’s, and other superb women in tech … plus little ole me. Thank you Vicki ~ I am in awe and with HUGE appreciation!

During this evening Vicki describes what she prescribes to — Radical Generosity … and she encouraged us all to consider following in her footsteps. Now, true to many women, and many Canadians, she practically apologized for saying out loud that she was practicing the art of radical generosity … which she shouldn’t … but I get it. Humility is a feature and it’s one we can’t shed (nor often should).

But the message came across without any feeling of ego or princess-likeness … It was simply her, from the heart, with what she believed in. And I was simply blown away because I loved being in the presence of that kind of giving and that kind of collaboration.

Even though I am both a woman, and a Canadian, and hopefully often display way more acts of kindness and humility than not, it still inspired me to really consider this statement and see what else I could be doing to be an owner of radical generosity.

For many reasons this resonated with me … history aside and the way my parents raised me .. which has everything to do with who I am … I believe in it because I.don’t.see.it.in.this.world.enough!! I am out there everyday connecting with new work colleagues, new personal relationships, past relationships on all fronts … and there is a huge gap on this planet (or at least where my latitude and longitude reside) … and it makes me, well, want to write a blog post!

Giving costs you nothing. It’s a smile sometimes. It’s a name of someone who can help with a problem. It’s a guide to a new trail run. It’s the courtesy of being honest. It’s the little note that says “you’re fucking awesome”. It’s the 3pm Sunday afternoon birthday happy hour. It’s the special invitation to new years eve. It’s the thoughtful text message after receiving an “I’m sorry” card. It’s the 40 miles you’ll drive to say hello … give a hug … see a smile. Hell, it’s the 3,000 miles you’ll do for that. It’s the text message that says “hey bud, you’re amazing – have a great day”. It’s remembering who your friends were before illness and before life’s inevitable challenges and sending an invitation to join in for the party just the same. It’s no judgement!  It’s just really simple and it really, truly, costs you nothing for what you get in return.

I’m not sure why life gets so complicated. But I know that if we live within the world that we are meant to live within .. the world is not complicated … it makes perfect sense. So maybe we should really focus on radical generosity, but when it isn’t reciprocated, then we can’t take any offense and instead we move on. Maybe we taught the person something. Maybe not. That is never the point. The point is to give away that which we have, and to do it with a smile and without expectations in return.

Radical generosity. It’s my new motto. It will make the tagline on my next business card. Those that have seen mine know what I’m talking about. But it’s what I believe in and will happily deliver.

And for the person that felt that my world is too complicated because my generosity was in the middle, instead of driving to their world entirely, … then I’m sorry, but you haven’t learned the lesson.

And as a tribute to you, Vicki, for the inspiration of this post … here is a little quote someone shared with me awhile back. You’ll get the meaning as it is your motto … Cheers to you for paving the way! #SheCEO!!

ceo

Giving Without Expectations

17 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Business, Inspiration, Life's Lessons

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expectations, expecting, generosity, generous, giving, pay it forward, selfless, selflessness

Growing up my Dad always taught me and my sister that you have to give without expecting anything in return. And over the years we got to see many examples of my parents giving and being kind without the expectation of something back. Sometimes it was really hard to witness their giving because people didn’t return the kindness, but regardless my Dad always made it clear what the rules were around giving.

why-workplace-giving-and-volunteering-drives-employee-engagement

So where does generosity come from? Are we naturally born with it and it’s just in our DNA? Is it a learned behavior? Perhaps something that we do out of necessity after conducting ourselves in an opposite fashion?

I believe that it can, and is, all of the above. And to be honest, I’m not sure it matters how we learn to be kind, but more important is the fact that we DO learn to be kind (and we put it into practice).

churchill-giving-quote1

There are a lot of nice people out there … the world is full of nice people. But it is a little less often that I meet someone who is truly generous and who is giving in a significant way … Never mind those that employ the “give without expectations” rule. But lately I’ve begun to work with a group of people where this sense of enormous giving is leading them in business and in life, and it’s so exciting to be around. And these are people that are not just doing it every once in awhile … but who are seriously walking around every day providing generosity to others (without the slightest expectation of something in return).

When I was talking with someone today about it – someone who was demonstrating this enormous giving, I asked if it was a Pay it Forward model and he said “Oh no, it’s bigger than that”. Bigger than Pay it Forward I thought?!? Really? 

He said it’s about selflessness and generosity in a way that is beyond just the Pay it Forward model. What he said is that we have to “give without expecting anything in return … and if you can help, then you should”.

That’s a pretty big statement don’t you think – If you can help, then you should. How many people do you know like that? How many give for the sake of giving and who care about helping the larger community, with only the hope that others will be selfless and do the same? Probably a lot less than the people who you come across that portray the opposite behaviors.

I have met a lot of people who wish for a lot of things and feel they have received the short end of the stick in life … and a lot of non-believers that the Universe really can provide that which we need and deserve. And while I of course am only one person with a theory (and a Dad who taught me an important lesson at an early age) I say why not try it?! Why not try to give selflessly … give generously … give without expecting anything in return … and if you find yourself in a situation where you can help – give because you should. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

I would venture to say that more good will come out of it than bad.

P.S. Thanks to the person who inspired this blog post today – he reminded me of the lesson that my Dad instilled in me many years ago – and a lesson I’m proud to say I have implemented throughout my life and will continue to do so without any signs of slowing down.

giving - good for the heart

 

when i’m rich and famous

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration

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accomplished, famous, generous, giving, goals, happiness, happy, kindness, nice, rich

Something happened to me recently that made me decide that when I am rich and famous I am going to be nice to everyone. And I mean every.one.!! And then I gave it some more thought and decided that I shouldn’t wait until I’m rich and famous to be nice to everyone (because let’s be honest, that might not happen) – Instead I’m going to make it something that I do everyday, starting now. So alas … another resolution to add to my year of “living the length AND width of life”!

Where did this idea come from and why am I blogging about it??

Recently I went to an event and there were some famous, wealthy and very accomplished people there. Some were nice, and some quite frankly were not nice at all. And I really don’t like to feel that I don’t have the right job title, or that I’m wearing the right brand, to warrant a little polite or professional courtesy. But what struck me the most was that at the end of the night, someone that I didn’t think would engage in a conversation with me – totally did and made me feel whole again! She was incredibly generous with her time and the way she included me into the crowd made me feel really welcome. And you know, it just made all the difference.

It’s not like I’m not a nice person. (English majors please don’t critique me on that sentence!) I happen to think that I’m pretty nice and along the years I’ve had many people tell me that I’ve made them feel comfortable and welcome and things like that … but I think that taking on “being nice to everyone” will inspire a major shift in my universe and the people around me because it’s going to be something I do everyday, and not just when I’m feeling in a good mood myself. Because here is the reality – when you smile at someone – even if you don’t feel all that happy inside — you can’t help but feel a little happier. Smiling just does that to people!

Try this experiment … the next time you’re walking on a sidewalk or in a mall – make eye contact with the people walking towards you and smile, and then say “hello” … or “good morning”. You’ll be surprised at how good it makes you feel AND in the meantime – you’re making them feel good as well. You could even make a game of it and see how many people reply back (I do this on my runs ALL THE TIME).

I had a dear friend, George, who was about 78 years old when I met him, and George was a very giving person. I’ll talk about him throughout my blog posts but one thing he used to always do was say hello to people that we passed on the street. George would actually add “how are you today” … or “nice to see you” … and for the first few times I thought that George just happened to know these people because the greeting was so friendly! But it turned out that he didn’t – he was just being friendly! And it even made ME feel good because I was walking with him and that heartfelt “hello” made me smile as well.

So I decided that because this woman made me feel so amazing – that I’m going to strive to make others feel that way all the time – whomever it is that I come in contact with … because you never know when you might be able to make someone’s day.

Consider the idea yourself … you never know who you might bring happiness to (and who, in turn, will one day write a blog post about it). <smile>

I look forward to fulfilling on this new promise …

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