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Being Superwoman

Being Superwoman

Tag Archives: happiness

Caution: Work in Progress

30 Friday May 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Life's Lessons

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Tags

happiness, inspiration, life lessons, new job, work in progress

So the past few weeks have been filled with immense joy — and at the same time a bit of a heavy heart. Two opposite sides of the spectrum, for two different aspects of my life. Maybe this is what “they” say when they talk about “balance”. Actually I hope it isn’t.

But the two opposite feelings remind me that we are all a Work in Progress. And that life is a series of steps that we have to take in order to reach our destination. Some people have to take more steps than others. Sometimes the steps are steeper and harder for some to climb. And sometimes … one just gets lucky and an elevator appears! Like the employees of WhatsApp – for them, a magic carpet appeared and they now get to miss a few steps that others of us have to take. But good for them! I believe that the world is a better place when more people find happiness within their lives!

work-in-progress

Regardless of the journey, we are struggling through the Work in Progress construction zone. Be it professionally, personally, in a job, a marriage, a friendship, or with the inner self. We should not feel guilty for the path we’ve taken – or the way in which we’ve climbed the mountain. Some of us are more graceful than others. Some are sort of on the clumsy side. And the rate in which we progress is really anybody’s guess. What makes a lesson stick so deeply that we modify the path? What happens when we choose a different attitude along the way? What works for one, isn’t the same recipe for others. So we’re left with good ole ‘trial and error’ … and perhaps a few more “I’m sorry” or “I am learning” mentions along the way.

But when things are not going perfectly in one aspect of our lives, we’ve got to remember that we have others to balance it out. Whether we rely on a friend, family member, job or a passion, we would do ourselves a favor if we ditch the guilt and just get on with the progress part.

Because at some point you’ll reach a certain destination and you’ll look back at the journey and realize that each and every step contributed in some way. You can smile at the moments that made you proud, and simply shrug your shoulders for the lackluster performances.

So enjoy each step. The easy ones – the hard ones – the steep ones – and the less than graceful ones. And never give up on that which you most desire.

bashos-trail

 

Finding Superman

16 Friday May 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love

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charming, fairytales, faith, faith hill, happiness, love, nashville, real housewives, scandal, selfless, superman, superwoman, the bachelor

As I am searching for my inner Superwoman I have to admit – I am also on the lookout for what every superhero desires … an equally talented Superman. And just like my inner Superwoman is still evolving, I believe the Superman that I am looking for is becoming clearer with every experience that I have (be it good or bad).

For years I ignored the voice inside that guides us – the one that makes you question your decisions and challenges your direction. The one that tells you “it’s time to move on” when you clearly know that you’re heading down a wrong path but continue anyway because it’s easy — or it’s expected — or because you can’t seem to see any other possible path and that scares you stiff, so you just stay still. So I understand why I’m struggling to know exactly what my Superman looks like when I’m still (re)defining me.

no substitute for someone that gets you

There is a huge (I’ll be honest) part of me that just wants to read the last chapter in the book. Did I find him?? Was it amazing?? How full was the life I led and what legacy did I leave?? But I remind myself that it really isn’t about the end – it’s ALL about the journey. So I try to calm myself down and be present in the moment. Regardless if that moment brings me happiness or I’m struggling to just simply breathe, it has to be about the process. The feelings along the way. The heartache. The dynamic ups. The “feels like bottom” lows. The long path around instead of the straight path through. Right?

I remember that it’s not about knowing the ending … it’s about creating the middle. The part where we are living today. The sometimes exciting, but probably all too often ‘not so much’ mundane, life we live and the story we weave. Because let’s face it – life isn’t like The Bachelor or the Real Housewives or even Scandal or Nashville (which is sometimes really too bad because I would so love a day in the life of Olivia Pope or Juliette Barnes!). We’re just regular Joe’s (and Janes) trying to make our way in this world.

The smart person that lives inside my head (because I really swear there is one), tells me that “this” … what I have right now … it’s the good stuff. Faith Hill released a song many years ago (has it been decades? – ugh, I’m old) titled “The Secret of Life”. It talked about enjoying the little things … a good cup of coffee … getting up early … going to bed late … Monday Night Football (or for us Canadians we all agree it should be Hockey Night in Canada) … a beautiful woman … nothin’ at all. In all seriousness, she’s onto something there!

These are the things that we should really be focusing on … not the last chapter of the book. And if we’re lucky, somewhere along the way, we’ll find that one person – the Superman to your Superwoman – that feels the same way. That connects with you at a level that you thought was impossible. Who gets your jokes. Gets you. Brings out the best in you. Supports you at your worst. Makes you rethink everything because life is about evolution. It’s about progress. Moving forward. Not back. And we would live a long and wide life if we had friends and lovers that helped us expand our mind and forever change the discussions we’re having and the progress we’re making.

That’s what I want. That is all I want. Maybe it’s too big. Maybe it’s too ambiguous. Maybe it’s just perfect. I say, who cares. The single.best.thing.we.can.do.for.our.happiness is to be selfish … say what we want … ask for what we need … redefine daily what makes us happy. And then, be totally, 100%, irrefutably OK if it all changes tomorrow.

Although I know it’s impossible to ask for this, I wish every one of us finds our Superman. Finds our hero. If we’re lucky, we’ll find him again and again because we’ve been honest with ourselves, and the Universe, and we’ve been open to finding him in the most unassuming of places.

So – to my Superman – my Charming – if you’re out there. I’m waiting.

Finding Yourself

02 Friday May 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration, Life's Lessons

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

authentic you, authenticity, Avicii, finding yourself, happiness, intuition, Wake Me Up

As I am searching for my inner Superwoman I have to admit that it’s sometimes hard to discern “who you are” from “who you were”. As I am meeting new people and getting reacquainted with old friends, there seems to be some confusion – what qualities from my past are still who I am today? I have to be very careful to find the authentic self, not just the opposite of who I’ve been. And certainly not the person that people around me are looking for as a mirror to themselves.

For years I ignored the voice inside that guides us – the one that makes you question your decisions and challenges your direction. The one that tells you “it’s time to move on” when you clearly know that you’re heading down a wrong path — but you continue anyway because it’s easy — or it’s expected — or because you can’t seem to see any other possible path and that scares you stiff, so you just stay still. So, I understand why I’m struggling to know exactly what my inner Superwoman looks like – feels like – is like … This shit isn’t easy, right?!

But I am finding some things that are “super” helpful (pardon the pun, couldn’t resist) … and today I needed the reminder that I’m on the right track and to simply stay the course:

Be YOU

Sounds so simple but when you have spent a lot of years losing track of “you”, it’s so important to reconnect with who you are authentically. So turn off the radio the next time you’re driving. Wake up early and watch the sunrise. Take a glass of wine and enjoy the sunset. Go to the movies by yourself. Begin to write in a journal (or keep track in fun Apps like Evernote or Day One). Write words that define who you are on a few post-it notes and place them around your bathroom, office or home as reminders — we’re only human after all – we are forgetful sometimes!

Do One Thing That Makes You Happy – EVERYDAY 

Practice makes perfect. Listen to what makes you happy in every moment of every day … and then follow through. Don’t lose track of the 1,440 minutes that we have in each and every day – and every one of those moments are opportunities to find your happy!

Listen To Your Intuition

We all have intuition. We just all don’t listen to it. Try to ask your inner self for answers to everything and see how you felt when it was the right decision, versus how it felt when it was the wrong decision. You’ll quickly learn which feelings you can trust and which ones you need to toss out with the trash.

Do Something That Scares You

Is there something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t? Go somewhere that you think looks intriguing? Experience something unique just because you can? Stepping outside of your proverbial comfort zone will give you indications of the things that bring you joy. Even better if the thought of it scares the crap out of you! Making it to the other side will bring confidence and you’ll be one step closer to knowing yourself.

Change

You are not a tree. If something isn’t working – change it. The quicker the better.

…

Sometimes we have no idea just how unhappy we are, and it takes what feels like an act of congress to take just one step away from that unhappiness to something that makes us wake up with a smile on our face. Today the song “Wake Me Up’ was on the radio as I drove into work. And I heard two sentences that I didn’t hear before but completely defined my past six years. Sad that we can go so long trying to make things work when in our heart of hearts we know just how truly lost we are.

All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost

 

when i’m rich and famous

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Joanne Fedeyko in Inspiration

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Tags

accomplished, famous, generous, giving, goals, happiness, happy, kindness, nice, rich

Something happened to me recently that made me decide that when I am rich and famous I am going to be nice to everyone. And I mean every.one.!! And then I gave it some more thought and decided that I shouldn’t wait until I’m rich and famous to be nice to everyone (because let’s be honest, that might not happen) – Instead I’m going to make it something that I do everyday, starting now. So alas … another resolution to add to my year of “living the length AND width of life”!

Where did this idea come from and why am I blogging about it??

Recently I went to an event and there were some famous, wealthy and very accomplished people there. Some were nice, and some quite frankly were not nice at all. And I really don’t like to feel that I don’t have the right job title, or that I’m wearing the right brand, to warrant a little polite or professional courtesy. But what struck me the most was that at the end of the night, someone that I didn’t think would engage in a conversation with me – totally did and made me feel whole again! She was incredibly generous with her time and the way she included me into the crowd made me feel really welcome. And you know, it just made all the difference.

It’s not like I’m not a nice person. (English majors please don’t critique me on that sentence!) I happen to think that I’m pretty nice and along the years I’ve had many people tell me that I’ve made them feel comfortable and welcome and things like that … but I think that taking on “being nice to everyone” will inspire a major shift in my universe and the people around me because it’s going to be something I do everyday, and not just when I’m feeling in a good mood myself. Because here is the reality – when you smile at someone – even if you don’t feel all that happy inside — you can’t help but feel a little happier. Smiling just does that to people!

Try this experiment … the next time you’re walking on a sidewalk or in a mall – make eye contact with the people walking towards you and smile, and then say “hello” … or “good morning”. You’ll be surprised at how good it makes you feel AND in the meantime – you’re making them feel good as well. You could even make a game of it and see how many people reply back (I do this on my runs ALL THE TIME).

I had a dear friend, George, who was about 78 years old when I met him, and George was a very giving person. I’ll talk about him throughout my blog posts but one thing he used to always do was say hello to people that we passed on the street. George would actually add “how are you today” … or “nice to see you” … and for the first few times I thought that George just happened to know these people because the greeting was so friendly! But it turned out that he didn’t – he was just being friendly! And it even made ME feel good because I was walking with him and that heartfelt “hello” made me smile as well.

So I decided that because this woman made me feel so amazing – that I’m going to strive to make others feel that way all the time – whomever it is that I come in contact with … because you never know when you might be able to make someone’s day.

Consider the idea yourself … you never know who you might bring happiness to (and who, in turn, will one day write a blog post about it). <smile>

I look forward to fulfilling on this new promise …

21d2e9987483d9a76fe954481e404336

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