Tag Archives: truth

Waiting for Me

11 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, ,

As I sit here, eyes heavy, tired — with a plan to be in dreamland about 30 minutes ago, I am instead honoring a different commitment to myself, and that is to write about things that move me in that moment.

As an entrepreneur (which in-and-of-itself is not so easy of a definition for me to write), I am constantly figuring out how to build my business. How to ‘scale’. What is the right product or service offering. Which price point makes sense, for my clients but also for me!  How do I market myself (without a marketing team). How I promote my brand (without a media agency). Who do I align myself with when I have limited time and endless amazing opportunities.

It’s exhausting and exhilarating.  Scary and exciting.  Crazy good and full of obvious mistakes.

And all of this happens while, at the same time, I’m trying to just be ‘me’. And that might sound silly to some, but I think to many of my colleagues and friends going through a similar journey but with a different objective, it truly will resonate. Because sometimes the version that we have of ourselves and our capabilities are clouded with fear and doubt, contradiction and denial, impatience and lack of self confidence.

Yet. We truly only have two options:

1.  Give up. Accept the unknown and never get to the end because we fear the worst.

or

2.  Forge on. Up the hill. Across the chasm. Through the potential shame, embarrassment and fear of ridicule should we fail … Should we not meet someone else’s expectations. Should we accomplish less than what we set out to achieve.

And if we choose the latter .. then we must accept our flaws.  Embrace our individual ‘features’.  Live in permanent Beta.  Trust that all roads lead us to a better place if we’re determined to get there.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I am tired of waiting for me.  Especially when I am right here, and am the.only.thing standing in my own way.

thomas-tucker-149020-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Thomas Tucker on Unsplash

Author’s personal note:

To my friend whom I adore and have all the patience in the world for — I don’t know what the future holds but I know that you are holding it in your hands.  I can’t wait until you release and see yourself as I see you and as I know the world is waiting to embrace.  

Perspective

01 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by in Inspiration, Life's Lessons, Love

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

Once a month I leave my apartment for a weekend to gain perspective. I find myself a cute getaway within 100 or so miles that brings me joy and a new landscape.

hmb march 31 beach.png

The ultimate goal is to escape into a world complete only with reading, writing and relaxing — but to be honest, these first few months have been more about just finding the ground beneath me. Maybe towards the end of 2018 I’ll achieve the intention that I set when I put this into my yearly resolutions. But maybe not. And that will be okay too.

hmb march 31 sign.png

This weekend, I found myself thinking about perspective. How our thoughts unfold the world before us. How sometimes we’re so envious of other people’s lives, only to learn that it’s just as hard as ours — and just as good as ours — just different. And how a simple comment, message or check in with a friend or mentor can reframe everything.

Over the last few weeks the world has reminded me of Albert Einstein’s Theory of Happiness that he wrote in 1922.

“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness”.

I believe this with every fabric of my being …. Yet I still relentlessly pursue.

I relentlessly pursue the art of giving back. I find so much joy in helping make connections between two people. And the joy only builds when I learn that both received something beneficial from the simple act of an introduction.

I relentlessly pursue feeling connected. My road ahead is shorter every day and I feel an urgent desire to make each day count with people that are good for my soul.

I relentlessly pursue being full. Because being still is really, really hard. And busy makes me happy.

What I don’t relentless pursue is money, which is odd because I need that to live.

But last week my coach (whom I recommend to everyone interested in growing as a leader) gave me some perfectly placed advice. She said that I can make money AND make connections and give back. It’s not an “or” — it’s an “and”. And I just loved that.

We don’t have to leave our normal day to day to gain perspective. But we do need to pursue it.

If you’re reading this, send someone a random text or place an out-of-the-blue phone call. Make someone’s day because it’s good for everyone’s soul.

joanne hmb by asa

Photo courtesy of my friend Asa, who is always good for my soul.

 

with special thanks to those that recently brought me perspective on my journey — and are just good for my soul — Karen, Jen, Rebecca, Sarah, Kas, Asa, FF and always my family.  

Standing Beside Integrity

01 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by in Inspiration, Life's Lessons

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

integrity or ethics concept

I am sure that I am not alone when I say that I’ve experienced my share of heartbreak, both personally and professionally.

While we might call it by another name in business, the impact and result is very similar – hurt, anger, maybe even shame, or the feeling of being treated unfairly and not having a voice to stand up for you. Pretty hard stuff to get through when it happens.

What’s even more difficult is hearing “well, maybe it was the best thing to happen to you”.  Ugh. really? Who wants to hear that?  Or, is it a belief that we should embrace and believe to move on unscathed?

I’ve recently heard from friends, colleagues and people that I’ve met for the first time, of their experiences of being severely let down; “creative differences”; and heartbreak that left them standing alone to figure out what’s next. My heart goes out to them, but more importantly I want to pass along my strength. I have all the time in the world to listen to the pain — or shock — or anger, and be there as they get through it the only way they know how. And I hope they will apply the Pay it Forward model when their time comes to listen. After all, chances are we’re going to experience something similar in our lifetime, and probably more than once.

One of the best things that we can all do during this time is live with integrity. I believe we need to do this regardless if we end up swimming in the same swimming pool, share DNA, or have to encounter the situation on a regular basis. We also have to remember to not let it take all the goodness out of us.

We can’t stop trusting. We can’t stop ourselves from falling in love. We shouldn’t ever stop dreaming.

We just have to do it with a little more wisdom and maybe a little more cautious optimism.

Years back I let someone else’s lack of integrity disrupt my world. Interrupt my passion. Stop my path to success.  And it really sucked. For a long time.  It took years of unhappiness, relentless pursuit of something that I couldn’t quite define (and therefore attract), and I built a running commentary in my brain that “I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t deserve to find and live my passion again”.

And then I did find it! And I lived it!

And then it happened again.

Wait, what? Again?  Hum … Like I said before .. we’ll probably all suffer pain way more than once in our lifetime.

The difference is that I learnt the only way to get back on my feet was through the pain. Through the shame. Through the disappointment. Through the running commentary in my head that I wasn’t good enough — until I arrived at the point that I believed I was good enough. Because we ALL are good enough … and MORE.

Everyone close to me – and even those not – told me that giving up was not an option. Moving forward was the only path. And I had to go through all of the messiness in order to find a clear path. And I had to do it with my integrity in tact. I had to trust that it was the only way for me to move past it and continue on my own path to greatness.

The other day I heard ‘there are three sides to every story’. And I guess that is the truth. But deep down, we know what’s right and what isn’t. If it’s not obvious on the onset, then it becomes clear and sometimes it’s that moment that can really define who you are as a human being.

And just the other day a friend told me that she received an apology from a girl that bullied when she was a kid. And you know … 30 years later, it helps. It heals.

So whatever side you’re on when it comes to hurt, disappointment, failure … Live with integrity. While the ‘best thing to happen to you’ is sometimes a long game … there is truth to it.

integrity-002

in·teg·ri·ty 

inˈteɡrədē/

noun

the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

 

Honesty … How Important Is it??!

26 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by in Life's Lessons

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

We all hear it but do we really believe it … “Honesty is the best policy.”   Is it?!?  Come on, who believes it?  Better yet, who lives by those words??

I happen to be someone that believes it is the only policy because nothing can break down a relationship faster than knowing you’ve been lied to. Be it a personal relationship, one with a friend, family member, or even that with a work colleague. If we can’t be truthful then we have to ask ourselves “why?” … and that is often the reason why we lie – we don’t want to (or know how to) be honest with ourselves.

4859b65a9513111fb782ed5fe5a165d6 33a64a6a25d5efb1fc66541677517248

Finding that clarity within ourselves is tough.  It takes looking at our past history (which is often not without blemishes) and dissecting what motivated or challenged us to make the choices we did.  It’s often hard to swallow the real truth about why we did what we did – or why we said what we said – or how come we acted as we acted.  But, it’s not only essential to your growth, I think it’s critical to the relationships around you. And … I’ll say this even though it’s the obvious – it’s completely disrespectful if you’re not honest. You do not own the decisions of other people – you only own your own personal decisions — so by lying, you are assuming that you know what the other person wants or needs (and that, my friend, is definitely not true).

Does the truth hurt sometimes?  Yep, absolutely. … Could some people get mad by knowing the depth of your truths?  Oh for sure! … Would they be justified?  Probably in a good few cases, yes. … Could they walk away?  Yes, that’s a real risk.  … But would the people that value the truth (about them or about you) appreciate the opportunity to make the decision themselves based on the information provided — I think that answer is yes.  A lot of people want to grow and learn from other people, their experiences and feedback.  If the truth reveals something about yourself that isn’t flattering, then you have the option of ignoring it or doing something about it. Quite frankly, I prefer the latter.  I will always take the feedback and look to see if I can improve myself – regardless what the feedback is or who is providing it.  I mean, it’s at least worth a peak just in case it’s valid, no?

I figure we’re all grown adults and we all wake up everyday to find our happiness.  If what makes you happy isn’t what will make another person happy – lying to them about it does no one any good.  IMHO you can’t be fully happy if you’re denying yourself and others the truth … and the other person is not happy because they are not living with the actual truth, so their world around them isn’t 100% real. So it’s a good case for being honest.

images-4Allow others to decide if your truth matches up with theirs.   If it doesn’t, then most likely it’s not the end of the world.  Maybe they can live with it.  Maybe they can be patient if you are working on improving yourself.  Maybe they have the same view as you but are equally as scared to be honest!! If the worst case is that the relationship comes to an end … then dare I say it wasn’t meant to be in the beginning.

So be bold (and an adult) and first get clear on what is your truth – and then don’t be afraid to tell others.  You might have to say it with kindness, or with a glass of whiskey & coke, but say it just the same.
Life-Love-Quotes-When-We-First-Met-I-Honesty-Had-No-Idea